Blogging, Baby Making & Shoe Shopping

A few random thoughts about nothing in particular. Pretend to enjoy them, okay? Writer’s block has been hitting me hard (and I bruise easily).

Which Sounds Better, Blalking or Woggling?

I’ve been told in the past that blogging comes as naturally to me as walking. I assume this was a compliment, although if this individual was thinking about a time I tripped or something it’d have to be categorized as an insult.

Still, compliment or kick to the shin, I have to agree with the statement. Blogging IS like walking to me. And no, it’s not because I walk funny. Although, I once had a freshman student of mine tell me I walked like a pimp. I’m assuming this was a compliment, too. Pimps are cool, right?

No, blogging is like walking to me because I blog and walk at my own pace. Others might be running around airports and malls like chickens with their heads cut off, but not me. I walk at a nice, comfortable pace. And no amount of masked gunmen and sales at the Gap is going to make me walk faster.

The same holds true with my blogging. Do others blog more frequently than I do? Sure. Do I wish blogged more? Of course. But this is my pace. If I blogged faster, I might pull a hamstring.

Wait a second…

My bad. It wasn’t walking. The person said blogging came as naturally to me as BREATHING. Okay, forget everything I wrote above.

I have to agree with that statement. Blogging IS like breathing to me. And no, it’s not because I breathe funny. Although…

There’s a Kick to the Baby Maker

I’m not sure what’s more embarrassing about the 50-game suspension for substance abuse by baseball player Manny Ramirez of the Dodgers.

Is it the fact he’s been caught and suspended for taking a substance typically used by steroid abusers? Or is it the fact the entire world now knows that, thanks to steroids, he won’t be having any Manny Ramirez Juniors anytime soon?

Personally, I think his hair is the most embarrassing thing. Thanks to this story, there are thousands of articles written about the man. And most every story includes a photo with his inexplicable hair.

That’s got to be embarrassing.

Why Buy the Cow…

You know what’s not awesome?

Turning on HGTV and seeing yet another episode of House Hunters featuring an unmarried couple shopping for a home. Let me paint a picture for you.

I’ll turn to the show when it’s already been on for a few minutes. I’ll see a man and a woman, and their realtor, looking for a new house. Immediately, my brain thinks, “Here is a married couple. I think they should pick house #2.”

Fast forward to the end of the show. They’ve selected their house, and now we get to see how they are doing six months or so later. This is how it usually goes down:

Woman: “We love our new house.”

Man: “One of the first things we did when we moved in was paint the kitchen.”

Woman: “We finally have a fenced-in backyard for our dog. And if that wasn’t wonderful enough, (name of man) proposed to me two weeks ago.”

Call me old fashioned if you must, but when did the whole “living together before marriage” thing become commonplace?

I don’t mean to offend or pick on anyone’s life choices. It just frustrates me that this has become the norm because it means people like my younger sisters grow up seeing (and possibly believing) it’s the norm. And if it IS the norm now, count me among the prudes who believe it shouldn’t be.

“How can we know we’re compatible if we don’t live togther first,” some would argue.

“You don’t buy shoes without trying them on first, right?”

No, no I don’t.

But I also don’t take shoes from the store home with me and sleep with them for a year or two before deciding to buy them.

I’m classy like that.

Hand Shaking Is So Medieval. Lets End It.

Every once in a while we go on a little rant here about something that bugs us. In the past we’ve done hit jobs on email, voicemail and business cards at various times. But there’s one thing that bugs me more than all of those things put together - the ubiquitous hand shake.

I’m not just talking about the sweaty palms handshake, which sends shudders down my back. I even take issue with the firm and dry handshakes that we engage in every day. I’d like to see the ritual ended.

Hand shaking goes back a long, long way. Wikipedia says it was practiced as far back as the 2nd century BC. The story I’ve always heard is that shaking a someone’s hand shows that you hold no weapon. Since most people are right handed and would hold a knife in that hand, we shake right hands.

Whatever the reason for hand shaking, it isn’t needed. Like the Qwerty keyboard (which is designed to slow us down so that the typewriter doesn’t jam), it’s a relic of an older time that’s not only no longer needed but actually causes inefficiency. I can live with the keyboard. But I’d rather not have to catch another flu or cold from a hand shake.

The fact is that hand shakes spread germs. You shake someone’s hand and then touch your nose or mouth and you can get sick. I don’t like getting sick. But to turn down a hand shake is such an insult that there’s little choice. The hand is out there, in front of me waiting, so like everyone else I grasp it.

Whenever I do shake a hand I’m completely aware of it, can’t stop thinking about it, until I can wash my hands. Sometimes in a meeting I’ll shake hands all around, then excuse myself to the bathroom to wash my hands, then return. It draws attention, though, and people have pointed it out to me as odd. My response is that it’s nothing personal but I don’t want to get sick. If I get sick I have to take time off and it hurts my business. And there’s a good chance I’ll get other TechCrunchers sick, too, which is doubly bad.

So let’s start a new trend - not shaking hands. You can do a fist touch instead. or a solid, respectful head nod. I’ll even start bowing if I have to. Fox has a couple of other options, but I absolutely refuse to engage in an elbow bump. Other than that I don’t really care. But just like I don’t swap spit with everyone who walks into a room, I’d prefer not to swap germs via the ancient but disgusting habit of shaking hands, either. Deal?

Crunch Network: CrunchGeardrool over the sexiest new gadgets and hardware.

My First Facebook Quiz Creation

Fellow Facebookers I have created my first-ever FB quiz:

What Stupid Facebook Quiz Are You?

Ten questions that determine which dumb Facebook quiz you are. It is scientifically based, by the way if you have concerns about the accuracy.

Go take it and find your place in the world of ridiculous quizzes.

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[Humor-blogs.com and Blog-Storm.com love Facebook quizzes. Go there to read blog posts that have nothing to do with them.]