Britney Spears' Cleavage is Confusing (and Near a Nipple Slip)

Okay, so for the record, I still hate Britney Spears, and think all this craziness surrounding her new album, which will suck just as bad as her last album, is retarded. Just like her. That being said, WTF is up with Britney Spears' cleavage!? You know she's just asking for a nipple slip in that outfit (and almost had one). There wasn't one, but I'm not sure that's a bad thing. You know, I really wish Britney would go back to being her crazy self, because this whole thing where she looks good is really m

I Hate Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures

I hate Heidi Montag. I hate her douchefuck fake husband,Spencer Pratt. I hate her fake tits, her fake lips, her fake nose, and her fake life. I wish she'd crawl into the same hole that Osama Bin Laden is hiding in, because then a least we'd know we woud never find her again. I hate the way she's posing for these stupid bikini pictures on her fake fucking honeymoon in Mexico. Enjoy.

For those of you that don't know, Pratt is actually another word for asshole. It's true. It's never been truer.

Lots more stupid fucking Heidi Montag bikini pictures after the jump.

More Jessica Alba Campari Hotness

You've seen the sexy Jessica Alba swimsuit calendar for Campari, and now here are the "behind the scenes," "making of" photos. I use the quotes because most of these photos are just as staged as the actual calendar. Which is fine. I mean, it really doesn't make a difference whether these are actual "vérité" style photos or not. All that matters is that Jessica Alba looks hot, and shows plenty of cleavage. And she does. So why am I even talking about this?

Jessica Alba's Boobs Sell Booze

Jessica Alba is picking up the Campari mantle from Eva Mendes, and shows off her curves to sell some drinks. And good for her, because I can't remember the last good movie Alba was in. No, it's far better that to have these Jessica Alba swimsuit pictures from the new Campari calendar than to watch her butcher another acting job. Anyway, I don't know if this will actually help Campari sell any more alcohol, but if it takes Jessica Alba's breasts to do it, then it's all good.

Afternoon Snack - Angela Jennings

Angela Jennings is a beautiful lady that helps prove the idea that sometimes it doesn’t matter if they’re real or fake! What matters is that they’re big and beautiful. Angela Jenning’s breasts are just that! Angela also looks extremely sexy in her bikinis. In fact, I would pay her to sit around my house all day in either a bikini or nothing at all! Enjoy Angela Jennings as your Tuesday afternoon snack, and let us know of any ladies that you feel are worthy enough to be on NewsToob’s snack menu!

Hit the jump to see even more of sexy Angela!

Adriana Lima Has Been Enhanced

Here's Adriana Lima in some new ads for Victoria's Secret, and while Adriana Lima is ridiculously hot, she's not THAT hot. I mean, she is THAT hot, in the sense that if you ever met her in person your brain would melt and run down your pants, but she's not THAT hot in that she doesn't actually have size EEE breasts, like you'd think after seeing these Adriana Lima lingerie pictures.
No, I'd say 50% (at most) of what you're seeing here is actually Adriana Lima. The other 50% is a very padded bra, make-up, and tons of Photoshop. And even though I know all this, it still doesn't matter, cuz them's some sexy pictures, Photoshop or no.

Eliza Dushku Strips Down For The New “Nobel Son” Trailer

God bless the redband trailer - or more specifically, the new R-rated trailer for Nobel Son. Is there a more effective marketing trick than including a money shot of Eliza Dushku’s ass in a preview? I doubt it. In fact, I think that’s part of the introductory lesson in Advertising 101, right after the mandatory use of classic rock in car commercials. Either way, this dark comedy has successfully landed itself squarely on my radar, and as an added bonus, below we’ve got a few pictures of an unfortunately much more covered-up Eliza from the movie’s premiere. Enjoy.

Lindsay Lohan’s Clone Gone Wrong

Here’s Lindsay Lohan hosting the 6126 Holiday Collection Fashion Showcase at Pure Nightclub. Not sure who her friend is, but is it me or is there a striking resemblance between the two? That is if you peel away the layers of fat.

Gemma Atkinson Takes Random Photos

Gemma Atkinson has shown her body in yet another photoshoot. This time, however, I’m not sure on the theme. That doesn’t stop Gemma from having some amazing looking pictures. Gemma’s body is stuff dreams are made of. I know, I just had a dream where I bought the doll like the pictures below, and Gemma Atkinson and I….well, nevermind. Enjoy the pictures.

Lindsay Lohan’s Hardcore Lesbian Leggings And Boots Combo

I have to say that all the fake lesbian leg wrestling Lindsay Lohan has been doing is working miracles on her thighs, they look pretty damn good. She should make an exercise video. I’m not sure I’m sold on the whole leggings and scary boots combo, if they ever made a porn about Nazi Germany I’m pretty sure this is what the officers would wear. Was that in poor taste? I can’t tell anymore.

Afternoon Snack - Angela Sommers

Angela Sommers is quite a beauty. Angela provides us with today’s afternoon snack. Since it’s hump day, I figured there’s no better way to celebrate than to close your eyes, lay back, and imagine yourself with a fine woman. If you can’t think of one, here’s Angela Sommers to help you out.
Hit the jump for the better bikini photos of Angela Sommers!

Britney Spears Circus Music Video

Britney Spears‘ new music video Circus was released and the song just doesn’t do it for me. She definitely needed more visible skin to drown out the actual music. Now I’ll admit Womanizer was catchy but I don’t see this being a huge follow-up. Anyway, I can’t believe I’m even discussing Britney Spears’ music considering the real geniuses behind her hits are the writers and producers. So from now on I’ll just do what I do best: follow Britney’s real “body of work” and let you know how it’s progressing on a day-to-day basis.

Rachel Weisz is Gotham Gorgeous

Rachel Weisz really knows how to work out black-and-white stripes in another Narciso Rodriguez creation at the 18th Annual Gotham Independent Film Awards at Museum of Finance on Tuesday (December 2) in New York City.

The 37-year-old British actress came out to support her husband, Darren Aronofsky (pictured below), who directed the The Wrestler. His film was up for Best Feature against competing films Ballast, Frozen River, Sydechodche, New York and The Visitor.

Some first-look pics of Rachel and director Alejandro Amenábar in their new ancient Egyptian film, Agora, have been released. The movie is set for a December 18th, 2009 release from Focus Features. Check out the photos at Fotogramas.es.

Happy Birthday, Britney Spears!!!

Today’s the big day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sitting here inside Lincoln Center’s Big Apple Circus tent in New York City for Good Morning America, where Britney Spears will be performing in celebration of her 27th birthday.

I was mere feet away from Brit’s father, Jamie, her mom Lynne, her assistant Brett, and her choreographer/set designer Wade Robson. Tune into ABC now to catch her live performance! Hopefully, performances!.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRIT BRIT!!!!!

P.S. Currently, there are clowns trying to keep the audience entertained. When Lynne passed by, everyone screamed and she waved back.

P.P.S. Sean Preston and Jayden James have entered the tent!!! They received collective “Awww” and “So cute!” from the audience. Sean was carried in by uncle Bryan, Jayden by a bodyguard. The whole Spears family is sitting second row, front and center. Also in the audience: Chef Emeril Lagasse.

P.P.P.S. Added a gallery of pictures of the stage, t-shirts everyone is wearing and “Happy birthday and Britney Spears signs everyone is holding. Here comes Britney!!!! AAAHHH!!!

Reese Witherspoon’s Big Box Office

Reese Witherspoon smiles for the cameras as she arrives at Los Angeles International Airport on Monday.

Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon’s holiday comedy Four Christmases took in $31.1 million, to open as the top weekend movie. Four Christmases beat out Bolt, Twilight, and Quantum of Solace at the box office.

The 32-year-old actress spent Thanksgiving with boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal and actress pal Gwyneth Paltrow, while ex-husband Ryan Phillippe spent Thanksgiving with their children.

Tina Fey - “Vanity Fair” January 2009

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Former Saturday Night Live cast member Tina Fey proudly takes the January 2009 cover of Vanity Fair. She tells the mag how a tweezer, cream rinse, a diet, and a Teutonic will transformed a mousy brain into a brainy glamour-puss. Here are some snippets:

On her physical flaws: “I don’t like my feet. I’m not crazy about anybody’s feet. But I have flat feet.”

On her Republican parents: “When I was 18 and registering to vote, my mom’s only instruction was ‘You just go in and pull the big Republican lever.’ That’s my welcome to adulthood. She’s like, ‘No, don’t even read it. Just pull the Republican lever.’”

Read the full article at VanityFair.com.